A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain… than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

(Source: slexie-and-japril, via shawnaleianne)

jessmeowmeow:

schreibaby-of-the-skies:

Angelica summing up what having responsibilities really means.

it’s true tho

Timestamp: 1408565627

jessmeowmeow:

schreibaby-of-the-skies:

Angelica summing up what having responsibilities really means.

it’s true tho

flawlessvevo:

Oh my god. 

(via ianlikessporks)

(Source: vinstage, via ninapinta)

blacknoonajade:

This is the incident report that the Ferguson police just produce. Now if you don’t know, this morning they FINALLY named the killer of Michael Brown as Darren Wilson. Along with naming Darren as the killer, the Ferguson police are now trying to link Michael Brown with a robbery that happened supposedly MOMENTS before. 

Michael was killed at 12:01 and this robbery was at 11:54. 

There are so many questions.

  1. We’ve seen the surveillance photos they’ve produced that shows someone who looks like Michael being aggressive with a store owner over an apparent box of swishers. (If you don’t know, Swishers are cigar papers you can pick up for like…2 for .50.
  2. They are saying that Officer Darren Wilson was responding to that robbery.
  3. They are calling it an STRONG ARMED ROBBERY
  4.  A strong armed robbery is using, involving, or threatening the use of physical force or violence to gain an objective:
  5. Okay, got that bullshit out of the way
  6. The dispatch tapes that were released mention NOTHING ABOUT A ROBBERY.
  7. NOT ONE WORD
  8. THE ONLY THING MENTIONED WAS A SHOOTING AND REQUEST FOR CROWD CONTROL.
  9. THAT’S IT
  10. So how did Officer Wilson FIND OUT about the robbery? 
  11. They’ve now listed Dorian Johnson (THE ONLY OTHER EYEWITNESS WHO WAS THERE) as the second accomplice to the robbery. 
  12. The same Dorian Johnson who has been trying (in vain) to talk with the Ferguson Police Department about Michael’s Death since LAST SATURDAY.
  13. So this man who is this SECOND SUSPECT IN A ROBBERY CASE IS PLEADING WITH YOU AND IS ALL OVER NATIONAL NEWS AND YOU ARE REFUSING TO SEE HIM. BUT HE’S A SUSPECT IN A ROBBERY. OKAY
  14. When Officer Wilson sees both Michael and Dorian his initial reaction was "GET THE FUCK ON THE SIDEWALK."
  15. Not any kind of reaction dealing with them being robbery suspects. 
  16. From some of the pictures (I’m not going to post them due to the family’s wishes) if you compare the footage from the store and the footage from Michael’s death, he’s swapped from Nike sandals to Sneakers. This red hat cannot be found (this is speculation).
  17. If the reason Office Wilson approached them was because they were suspects in an robbery WHY DIDN’T HE CALL IT IN? WHY DIDN’T HE FOLLOW PROCEDURE? WHY WOULD HE ROLL UP ON ROBBERY SUSPECTS IN HIS VEHICLE? WHY DID IT TAKE 6 DAYS FOR THIS TO BE ANNOUNCED?

I implore you. IMPLORE YOU to take a look into the presented facts of the case. This is just an incident report, we do not have access to the investigative report. There has been no reports presented of Michael’s autopsy and this report is contradictory of the second eye witnesses report.

None of this makes sense. 

They are putting Michael on trial to dehumanize him, villify him, to make him less human to justify his murder.

And at the end of the day, LET’S JUST SAY MICHAEL DID DO THIS…is petty theft (it was like 5 swisher sweets they say. That’s a two dollars and fifty cents) IS HIS MURDER, HIS EXECUTION, THIS UNARMED SURRENDING TEENAGE BOY, justified by this?

NO.

It’s not.

This is murder. Don’t let them put Michael on trial for HIS DEATH.  

Timestamp: 1408155547

blacknoonajade:

This is the incident report that the Ferguson police just produce. Now if you don’t know, this morning they FINALLY named the killer of Michael Brown as Darren Wilson. Along with naming Darren as the killer, the Ferguson police are now trying to link Michael Brown with a robbery that happened supposedly MOMENTS before. 

Michael was killed at 12:01 and this robbery was at 11:54. 

There are so many questions.

  1. We’ve seen the surveillance photos they’ve produced that shows someone who looks like Michael being aggressive with a store owner over an apparent box of swishers. (If you don’t know, Swishers are cigar papers you can pick up for like…2 for .50.
  2. They are saying that Officer Darren Wilson was responding to that robbery.
  3. They are calling it an STRONG ARMED ROBBERY
  4.  A strong armed robbery is using, involving, or threatening the use of physical force or violence to gain an objective:
  5. Okay, got that bullshit out of the way
  6. The dispatch tapes that were released mention NOTHING ABOUT A ROBBERY.
  7. NOT ONE WORD
  8. THE ONLY THING MENTIONED WAS A SHOOTING AND REQUEST FOR CROWD CONTROL.
  9. THAT’S IT
  10. So how did Officer Wilson FIND OUT about the robbery? 
  11. They’ve now listed Dorian Johnson (THE ONLY OTHER EYEWITNESS WHO WAS THERE) as the second accomplice to the robbery. 
  12. The same Dorian Johnson who has been trying (in vain) to talk with the Ferguson Police Department about Michael’s Death since LAST SATURDAY.
  13. So this man who is this SECOND SUSPECT IN A ROBBERY CASE IS PLEADING WITH YOU AND IS ALL OVER NATIONAL NEWS AND YOU ARE REFUSING TO SEE HIM. BUT HE’S A SUSPECT IN A ROBBERY. OKAY
  14. When Officer Wilson sees both Michael and Dorian his initial reaction was "GET THE FUCK ON THE SIDEWALK."
  15. Not any kind of reaction dealing with them being robbery suspects. 
  16. From some of the pictures (I’m not going to post them due to the family’s wishes) if you compare the footage from the store and the footage from Michael’s death, he’s swapped from Nike sandals to Sneakers. This red hat cannot be found (this is speculation).
  17. If the reason Office Wilson approached them was because they were suspects in an robbery WHY DIDN’T HE CALL IT IN? WHY DIDN’T HE FOLLOW PROCEDURE? WHY WOULD HE ROLL UP ON ROBBERY SUSPECTS IN HIS VEHICLE? WHY DID IT TAKE 6 DAYS FOR THIS TO BE ANNOUNCED?

I implore you. IMPLORE YOU to take a look into the presented facts of the case. This is just an incident report, we do not have access to the investigative report. There has been no reports presented of Michael’s autopsy and this report is contradictory of the second eye witnesses report.

None of this makes sense. 

They are putting Michael on trial to dehumanize him, villify him, to make him less human to justify his murder.

And at the end of the day, LET’S JUST SAY MICHAEL DID DO THIS…is petty theft (it was like 5 swisher sweets they say. That’s a two dollars and fifty cents) IS HIS MURDER, HIS EXECUTION, THIS UNARMED SURRENDING TEENAGE BOY, justified by this?

NO.

It’s not.

This is murder. Don’t let them put Michael on trial for HIS DEATH.  

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

(via ninapinta)

pathogems:

sephora:

KAT VON D STUDDED KISS LIPSTICK: THE CLASSICS

An array of quintessential neutrals that are anything but basic.

SHOP KAT VON D STUDDED KISS LIPSTICK >

Thin lizzy, cathedral, lolita and vampira need to be mine 😔 LIFE IS VERY CRUEL.

(via jessmeowmeow)

Timestamp: 1407872311

pathogems:

sephora:

KAT VON D STUDDED KISS LIPSTICK: THE CLASSICS

An array of quintessential neutrals that are anything but basic.

SHOP KAT VON D STUDDED KISS LIPSTICK >

Thin lizzy, cathedral, lolita and vampira need to be mine 😔 LIFE IS VERY CRUEL.

(via jessmeowmeow)

yangderexiaolong:

Do you ever have that outfit you wear so often you think

"Yes, this is the outfit I’d be drawn in everyday if I was a cartoon"

(via jessmeowmeow)

fuckyeahroxytart:

Is evil a carb? #meangirls #villains #disney #disneyvillains #maleficent #cruella #evilqueen #ursula #youcantsitwithus

(via leslieswhirlwind)

Timestamp: 1407871786

fuckyeahroxytart:

Is evil a carb? #meangirls #villains #disney #disneyvillains #maleficent #cruella #evilqueen #ursula #youcantsitwithus

(via leslieswhirlwind)

birdluvr1993:

masculinity is so funny to me bc men deprive themselves of the best things in life in order to achieve it like ….fuzzy socks, fun fruity pink drinks, spa days, lifetime movies,  expressing positive feelings in a healthy way, being a warm genuine person

(via fitnika)

(Source: beyonce, via fxbulousss)